Do You Know What You Really Want?
Most of us don’t know what we really want. We might think we do, but we don’t. Not really. Not knowing what we want is a problem because we can’t have what we want unless we know what it is.
Speaking for myself, I feel that I can do anything I want, get anything I want, if I know what it is that I want. I usually know. But, sometimes, I don’t. That’s why I make lists, like my list of 33 things I want to do before I am 33.
Let me tell you the story of how I made that list.
In the middle of a team building retreat, about six months back, someone asked me what I wanted and I realized that I didn’t really know anymore. So, I told everyone about how my thirty by thirty list changed my life and wondered if I should make another list like that.
Then, I played around with the list in my mind, for a month or two. I asked myself — what do you really want? — then put down my thoughts on paper. Then, I asked the people who are closest to me — do you think I really want this? — and made changes to the list based on their inputs.
Over time, after adding, deleting, or modifying several items in the list, I felt that it encapsulated the essence of who I want to be and what I want to do, over the next two years. So, I posted the list on my blog and waited for the Universe to respond to it.
Three months later, the list has become a lighthouse that guides my relationships and pursuits.
Sometime, I show the list to people who want to collaborate with me, so that they know if my priorities are the same as theirs.
Sometimes, friends and strangers stumble upon the list and discover a shared value or interest, and approach me with an offer to collaborate.
Sometimes, when I am not sure that I know what I really want, I go back to the list, look at each item, and ask myself: do you still want it? Perhaps, I change a word here, or a detail there. But, yes, I still want it. I haven’t changed in the last three months. What a relief!
Every time I look at my list, I realize that what I want isn’t very different from what I wanted before. More importantly, I realize that what I want isn’t very different from what I already have.
If my 33-by-33 list is a garden, I already have the patch of land with fertile soil, and I have already planted the seeds, even a few saplings. All I need to do now is to water the garden every day, till the soil a little, watch out for the weeds, and hope for the right amount of sunshine and shade.
Every time I look at my list, I feel blessed for knowing what I want, and for already having it. Then, I say a little prayer in gratitude, visualize my garden in in mind, and go back to tilling the soil, pulling out the weeds, and watering my saplings.