• Single folk don’t take prescription drugs. Only straight, married couples do.
• The people who take prescription drugs own Golden Retrievers.
• They wear matching sweaters tied around their necks and take long walks down the beach.
• They have unlimited resources for traveling to exotic locales.
• Only white and black people take prescription drugs. Asians, Hispanics, Pacific Islanders, etc. apparently don’t need prescription drugs.
• Side effects are generally worse than the conditions being treated.
• Anti-depression drugs cause depression and lead to thoughts of suicide. Wait. Wut?

All of this leads me to postulate that if you’re white, married and retired, avoid wearing matching sweaters with your spouse or owning a Golden Retriever. That combination will lead to all sorts of medical maladies.